2005 - 2010

2005 a few hours with max, chelsea, football, ikea, and millybaby. joy and life there, and the reminder that the most beautiful relationships take a lot of work

2006 challenging words from my doctor to get with the Lord and seek the cause of anxiety, grateful for holistic care that focuses on the whole person - body, mind, spirit

2007 rosy mound hike with matty and talk about gospel and isaiah and holiness and humbleness

2008 saturday morning at the farmers market, moist gluten free bread and the best textured french toast i've ever had. not to mention the sweet lady selling her goods with delight and kindness

2009 fall colors in the trees at every turn, crisp morning and evening air, warm afternoons, layers

2010 hand-trimmed bushes along the fence at home

1994-2004

1994. a simple counting of gifts, a gentle reminder from chelsea, keeps discontent, anxiety, and feeling overwhelmed at bay. 

1995. coming home to a house full of gifts. spotless floors, a sparkling bathroom, a new floor mat, flowers peeking in the window, a decluttered fridge, washed and folded laundry, new cleaning supplies, and a patched roof. un deserved gifts from generous neighbors 

1996. a full week before chaos with concentrated family time. loose agendas, ample sunshine, plush hotels and included hearty breakfasts, spending time with our three children before #4 comes and our family grows and readjusts..i needed this time before disney, as i knew it wouldn't be the same kind of vacation

1997. a supportive, understanding husband who is willing to be my advocate and will do what is in my best interest in order to care for me well, both emotionally and physically 

1998. encouraging responses to me sharing my heart and what i learn. thankful people even care about me or my small words 

1999. getting invited to a party i would never think i would have a seat to

2000. small break throughs with a friend i have been struggling to see godly fruit currently. watching in pain, but seeing maybe pain itself is what will bring her to her knees in desperate need for Him and not leaning on her own image or ability to get her by..

2001. a sweet cheerful daughter who is a cherry blossom, full of chatter, a box full of giggles, and is just blossoming before our very eyes. loving her age and all that she is learning 

2002. time in the car with dad. even though my physical weakness brought us there early, thankful for his willing ness to escort me there, to give respite to my aching back and legs, and easy going conversation and company to help the time pass

2003. amazing flights/traveling home. on time flights, well behaved children. time to eat, walk, and get in and out of the bathroom. flying into grand rapids instead of having to drive home from chicago after 2 flights and a layover. a van that started. the Lord was good to us above and beyond what we asked.

2004. homemade coffee from the Kuerig, with plenty of cream. i like coffee weather. 

1985-1993

1985. sitting on the floor, brown hands upon brown hands, in prayer together.

1986. expressed love and affection spoken through words. out loud. 

1987. friends who understand.

1988. surprise visit from mom. steady. faithful. gentle.

1989. cold milk spilled over raisin bran. extra sugar. 

1990. no bleeding so far. good sign.

1991. a peaceful joyful mother's day. 

1992. turning in my assignment on time. 

1993. the ability to even count gifts amidst the dry season. there are always gifts to be found. always.

1977-1984

1977. positive pregnancy test. i usually fail most tests. it's nice to pass once in a while

1978. a consistent, steadfast, God centered, peaceful marriage. By His grace, my marriage is a safe, joyful place, and i am so thankful that God cloaks it in His generous mercy and love. 

1979. thankful my son is thriving once again, stepping out of a hard spot of anxiety, fear, and sadness. watching the smart, bright, inquisitive, eager to learn boy emerge back out without losing his thoughtfulness or tenderness..Lord, continue to keep Your protective and kind hand on him..

1980. a season where after so long of being poured into, blessed beyond measure, plenty or learning and growing time, to now take it and pour back out. i have been given much. a joy to give in return. nothing of my own ability, but Christ in me. 

1981. reconciliation.restoration.a healthy Godly love emerging in my two friends. for this we prayed. and He has answered.graciously. generously 

1982. His provision. He meets our needs. He takes care of us. Every good gift is from Him alone. 

1983. releasing. the unfolding of strong grips on things that don't belong clinging in my hands. the ability to hold things loosely. 

1984. my three babies. i love them so much. i love being with them. i love being close to them. they bring me delight and joy. i learn so much through the gift of being their mother. 

1971- 1976

1971 re-learning rest - having given in to busyness, the reason why almost 11 months have passed since i've listed. that's not to say that I have't recognized gifts, but it's telling that the time it takes to type and list these things has been low priority. this week of "spring break" and cutting down from 50+ hours of work/week to just 18 feels like life again. it's that rest that God talks about in genesis on the seventh day when rest isn't the 24-hours of laziness that we tend to think rest should mean, but its an intentional time taken out of the week, holy, distinct from the other days, different in that God sat on His throne when He rested and managed all of his creation. He took up the reigns and organized and prioritized and took authority over His life. and its what i've felt called to for quite a while now, and this week has been that gift that i have needed. praise Him. 1972 house-sitting. retreat. a home away from home. so much rest and safety and thinking space. and ferret company. 1973 a sunroof. 1974 coat-free, snow-free walks, blue skies, return of sun and all things happy 1975 dr. axe. i'm not joking. this man and his website has been a gift, wrapped all sparkly with a bow and a tag and my name on it. so many times the respite and clarity that i've needed. www.draxe.com FYI 1976 lent. the favorite time of every year. its raw and delicate and reveals the heart and it's humbling and ugly and i remember - i need Jesus. i can't do this by myself. i can't love people very well - from the secret attitudes of my heart to the very words that come from my mouth. i need the influence and perspective of this Man who loves unconditionally and fearlessly and without concern for self-preservation and self-promotion.

1959-1970

1959. homemade indian food tucked lovingly in a tupperware for my drive home

1960. a willingness and eagerness to be helped at the last minute. to not feel like a burden or an obligation. this. is a gift to me.

1961. a starbucks gift card left in the car for the drive home

1962. smooth flights to and from the middle east

1963. copper everything.

1964. rose gold everything

1965.  fresh flowers. brand new candles.

1966. love notes even after 9 years of marriage

1967. tea and camel shaped shortbread

1968. starting a new class on monday evenings. excited to learn and connect.

1969. the familiar smell and feeling of being returned back to my own bed. nothing like it.

1970. face time to lebanon

1945-1958

1945. a sister who loves me and needs me..and even says that out loud sometimes

1946. a tender middle child niece. soft spoken, non aggressive, a peacemaker, full of affection and snuggles. love my sweet Chloe Lynn

1947. my new tiny delicate rose gold bracelet..with the accurate word on it "wifey." almost as perfect as an upgraded wedding band ;)

1948. candles. green plants. night time. 

1949. hot beverages in the cold of winter

1950. presents. they are so fun to give and also to receive!!

1951. a wonderful weekend with our little family making memories, experiencing lovely cultured things together, tasting delicious food, allowing ourselves to be pampered and relax fully, and have no where else we need to be. 

1952. thankful that the dress i bought a long while back and never wore-waiting and hoping for the perfect time to pull it out- fit perfectly for our evening out. it made me feel pretty, classy, and hopeful for a handful more of these lovely days..:)

1953. any peace, no matter how little or lot, is always a gift in my marriage. 

1954. after no interaction or response, finally an abundance to let me know i am loved, known, and cared about

1955. sweet friends who were generous in our gift exchange and gave me the most wonderful gifts that i have already put to use-like i said-i love gifts! 

1956. harsh yet important truth. a renewed passion to search and pursue it for myself. i want to be a protector and bearer of Christ and His unwavering truth. it is worth it. it is a gift and honor to even be able to share it with any and every one. 

1957. two little homemade ornaments sticky with tacky glue and mismatched gems..little polaroid pictures shifting around in the middle of my kids faces and the words are etched with crayon, "Jesus Came For..Ben and Norah."  cherished little keepsake gifts. 

1958. a husband who is patient, full of long suffering, slow to anger, quick to be soft and listen..
i don't deserve him. nor will i ever.