1928-1934

1928. one strong eye to hold me up while the other gets fixed

1929. the ability to use my other senses, sound, smell, taste, to feel and experience. i appreciate the others when one is weakened

1930. so thankful for the many gifts of food and help offered by friends from church, family close by, phone calls, texts, prayers, Facebook messages, all avenues lifting us up during this time. i am undeserving and humbled. who am i.

1931. a medium rare steak seasoned well in butter and herbs, served on a sizzling platter along with generous sides of loaded potatoes and grilled onions...totally hit the spot and totally worth coming out of hiding even if it was to a  greasy spoon. no one could care less about the blind girl in the corner and that's just how i liked it.

1932. the opportunity for my husband to show me he chooses me over work. i didn't have to have that proven to me, but my quiet insecure flesh is glad it was. his service to me is countless and immeasurable. all i know it is in abundance and i am incredibly thankful for this gift. because that's what it is-a present i do not deserve yet given freely. 

1933. another chance to be broken. to be made small. to let go of things i might have clung too tightly too. to fix my eyes on Jesus, and pursue Him in the dark place. another chance for Him to shine His glory and to make me more holy as He sanctifies me and cleans me out. 

1934. my children. so thankful for them, my heart aches that i can't mother them like normal or hold them and look them in the eye..yet they are resilient and helpful, they are gentle and caring towards me. i am so proud of their little tiny developing characters. 

1935. tangibles. like this chair i am sitting in that allows my head to rest in a little hole and give relief to my neck so i can still type and read..or my massage table that i spend hours flat on my face on, another hole to stick my head in. it's all so boring and mundane, but it would be 324546x less comfortable without these things. 

1936. a visit willingly and eagerly given by one of my favorites, the little great shepherd. his gentle voice full of tenderness for me, his sitting near me, stroking my hands and my arms in gentle affection, encouraging me and my husband in this desert, taking the time to drive all the way to our house and sit on our couch. to pray with us. to be unrushed and in no particular hurry. what a precious precious gift. 

1937. and others. so many people that i love are pouring love onto me by coming and sitting with me. i feel so unworthy of their time and attention, yet they are here, representing Christ and His affection for me, his baby servant. i am so so thankful.

1938. an amazing competent high ranking doctor and surgeon. who actually cares about me and the outcome of my eye. love his jewish fieriness and yet compassionate generous heart.