462

462 papa, as we called him. he would have been 102 if he made it to today. instead we said good bye in october 2001 good bye to a man of conviction and character who lived through the second world war in the northern part of the netherlands on a beautiful farm papa, oma, 4 kids [5 more to come] until the war took it all first, the german soldiers moved into the downstairs, while papa cared for oma, then pregnant with al, and created as much security and consistency as possible for all the littles. the man who steadfastly walked his wife and daughters through the loss of the oldest son, brother, age 8, when he was crushed under the tires of a neighbor's tractor and adri, adopted in for the years of the war from a family that lived in the city once they could no longer provide for her livelihood. papa, who lead his little family to a new land with only a few dollars to start again having left the family farm that had been handed down from grandfather to father to son [the farm that would have belonged to my father next] now, a treasure, the audio recording of papa and oma telling us all about these events how they journeyed through the loss with hope through the fear with confidence and with the pain, by way of joy because our God is faithful. his words, not mine. his words, now mine also. for teaching 9 children and 25 grandchildren, and 40+ great grandchildren perseverance in adversity faithfulness in life's ups and downs. forever grateful.

443-461

443 deer in the yard 444 wild flames in the fireplace 445 wall clocks with hour and minute hands 446 chubby robins, back for spring 447 lingering white tulips over the kitchen sink 448 hand-crafted mug collection 449 instagram conversation about mugs and their names 450 laughter to myself when no one needs to know 451 finding that j's nanny kids live in the same neighborhood as mine 452 the disney princess cupcake game 453 m+m, dancing princesses, paper plates for stones on the living room floor 454 short conversations with s. 455 books books books 456 when they arrive at my door in padded manilla envelopes 457 wesley hill, speaking out in humility on behalf of the hurting 458 cybex. 459 schedule that allows for 60-90 minutes 3x/week 460 that i can still use the gym, free of charge [thank you grace bible college] 461 a little nudge from d. and now i'm aware

433-442

433 cutting into an avocado to find it perfect, soft yellow merging into rich green, and consistency perfect 434 3-year-old self portrait. innocent and proud, and all is peace when little ones create 435 one-way trip through the deep backyard snow to the playground 436 textiles. the way they cozy up a space. 437 the extra patience that i have for the littles when i'm sick 438 the rearranged living room, open floor, feeling of newness in the middle of winter 439 freshly coated hope chest, a happy sunny color to add a little pizzaz to the common space 440 those roomies. sharing a home with them = joy. 441 co-leading this little family of ladies with em. God-appointed teamwork that i could never have dreamed. 442 another tiny pair of eyes, hands, toes...?! i think yes...

421-432

421 weekend getaway, colorado 422 rented skis, boots, + poles 423 a generous friend who offered lift tickets that i could never afford 424 the same friend, patient and encouraging, coaching me until i could remember how to ski 425 vail. new favorite. 426 gondolas, still a 10-minute ride to the top but without the icy cold winds 427 black suburban, rented, room for all of our gear, and a little extra room for a movie screen 428 eisenhower tunnel 429 off-highway excursion, avoiding 2 hours of traffic en route to breckenridge 430 a flight together, finally 431 spirit airlines. the butt of all jokes. 432 deep conversations amidst so much laughter

411-420

411 evidence of slow progress with a. less cupboard-climbing, fewer time-outs, more smiles 412 the olympics, the years of practice and dedication that funnel into moments on the television 413 beauty of figure skating, passion between long-time skating partners 414 little m. who tells me that she's going to practice hard so she can be in the olympics when she gets bigger 415 the luge. looks so easy, until you learn the intricacy and control that a smooth run requires 416 valentine's day tree, red, purple, pink 417 the fish tanks in meijer's. glowing ones, baby ones, chubby ones 418 these crafty little girls, paper, stickers, pens, valentines, mini mailboxes, all joy. (and a little candy) 419 morning chocolates, caramel + coconut 420 e.'s ultrasound, tiny baby in there, just sleeping and growing

400-410

400. honey chamomile tea

401. double stuffed oreos

402. restoration.  the kind i know and feel in my heart and hearts, the assurance that God is at work, and transforming not one, but two lives simultaneously.

403. tiny little bows found through out the house. a small delightful reminder that i have a beautiful daughter who wears them.

404. norah's tiny fluffy curls that form immediately after she leaves the bathtub.

405. when my children interact with kindness with one another. to overhear them playing well and peacefully brings me so much joy. it a gift because I know it is more rare than current, but prayerfully it will become more common..

406.  the ability to brush and blow dry my hair. i know it seems so small and ridiculous, but the act of fixing my hair after a shower can boost my confidence and fear of being a ratty distraction if my hair and face seem presentable..

407. a gift to belong to the King of Kings, the God of all Gods, all powerful and mighty, and yet, He chooses to lavish love on my tiny soul. I never want to forget the awe or respect that is due to Him. Yes, He is my most intimate friend, but He is a Great Warrior and a Rescuer.

408.  Nathan. I can never thank the Lord enough for this man, my husband. He is ever thoughtful, ever unselfish, so tender and gentle with me, and serves me in every way. He is the hands and feet of Jesus to me, so patient and wise, so quick to meet my needs, and i am so undeserving. I love him so much, and God has given me such a rare and precious gift in his love.

409. brief, but sincere encouragement from the Shepherd at church. to be recognized and honored by our teacher and admonisher, is a gift. we never expect or ask for his eyes or attention, so we are humbled and thankful when he offers it freely.

410.  the faithfulness of true friends who have taken the time to visit me while husband is gone. these friends stand apart from the rest and their love is quiet, yet loud to me.

389-400

389 jenga blocks. because the world and its desires pass away. 

390 6 notes from 6 who have taught me the most about humility and Gospel 

391 tubing faux pas + andy's pictures 

392 a few minutes of broomball 

393 teresa's almond milk 

394 laughing hard with the small group family 

395 worship that friday night, john's leadership 

396 leader meetings + prayer together, common heart for God's action in these young ones 

397 those crazy flakes of crystalized water, intricate detail, each radically distinct 

398 backyard ice rink 

399 late night in allendale, those few seemingly small questions that breathed life here 

400 healthy baby natalie after a few nights over in the hospital with unnamed virus