two.

last night I had the worst ear infection. i haven't had one since I was little. it was excruciating. but because I am learning a heart of gratitude and laid down entitlements, I sang quietly to Jesus as my ear throbbed. as I wrestled in bed, I thanked Jesus for any respite from pain, no matter how small. I thanked him for the hot water that I used to try and break down the pressure in my ear. I praised Him for being good and faithful, as I felt like crying from the nail driving deep inside my ear drum. I prayed for healing and rest, to just make it through the night without throwing up, and I am so humbled and thankful that He was so close and put his hand on my ear to stop it from screaming. Well it's morning now, my ear is in tact, there is ringing as delayed hearing in it, but the sharp needles have ceased their torture. For some reason I feel like I was in a battle last night, not against my ear, but against my flesh. my old order of things would be to wollow up in self pity and dispear, playing a begging game with God, but it wasn't like that. I was able to think clearly, able to thank and praise Him amidst wailing flesh, He was my strong tower, my source of strength, and I was aware of His presence, instead of accusing Him, questioning His mercy.

His mercy was new this morning, and I am thankful.