1945-1958

1945. a sister who loves me and needs me..and even says that out loud sometimes

1946. a tender middle child niece. soft spoken, non aggressive, a peacemaker, full of affection and snuggles. love my sweet Chloe Lynn

1947. my new tiny delicate rose gold bracelet..with the accurate word on it "wifey." almost as perfect as an upgraded wedding band ;)

1948. candles. green plants. night time. 

1949. hot beverages in the cold of winter

1950. presents. they are so fun to give and also to receive!!

1951. a wonderful weekend with our little family making memories, experiencing lovely cultured things together, tasting delicious food, allowing ourselves to be pampered and relax fully, and have no where else we need to be. 

1952. thankful that the dress i bought a long while back and never wore-waiting and hoping for the perfect time to pull it out- fit perfectly for our evening out. it made me feel pretty, classy, and hopeful for a handful more of these lovely days..:)

1953. any peace, no matter how little or lot, is always a gift in my marriage. 

1954. after no interaction or response, finally an abundance to let me know i am loved, known, and cared about

1955. sweet friends who were generous in our gift exchange and gave me the most wonderful gifts that i have already put to use-like i said-i love gifts! 

1956. harsh yet important truth. a renewed passion to search and pursue it for myself. i want to be a protector and bearer of Christ and His unwavering truth. it is worth it. it is a gift and honor to even be able to share it with any and every one. 

1957. two little homemade ornaments sticky with tacky glue and mismatched gems..little polaroid pictures shifting around in the middle of my kids faces and the words are etched with crayon, "Jesus Came For..Ben and Norah."  cherished little keepsake gifts. 

1958. a husband who is patient, full of long suffering, slow to anger, quick to be soft and listen..
i don't deserve him. nor will i ever. 

19345-1944

1935. the ability [only by God's gift to give me eyes to see] that the outside of me does not matter-it can't matter-compared to the glory of Christ. it is only about Him. it is not about me anymore. it never should have been. and thank you God for making that clear

1936. sending back all of my post op surgery equipment..that means i am almost half way through this and i no longer need that stupid chair or those stupid wedge cushions to help me sleep. 

1937. thankful for God's unwavering Word. it stands by itself and needs no supplementing. 

1938. a trial yes, but an opportunity to not be busy, to not have to be anywhere, a time to learn, grow, and rest. a time to be renewed and reminded of what is important. and that is a vibrant walk with Christ. a dying to self and flesh. shedding off old, and welcoming new. 

1940. sweet little voice of Liv Anandi, the way she says her ll's like a w. siwwy biwwy :)

1941. thankful for another season to be challenged and stretched in my marriage. to learn to empathize, practice selflessness, and kill pride yet again so that we might be unified and brought closer to Jesus and to each other. 

1942. a one on one catch up with lindsey. rare but meaningful

1943. a surprise visit from chelsea amidst her own chaos, she came and shared peace with me

1944. chili hot chocolate both from starbucks and homemade 

1928-1934

1928. one strong eye to hold me up while the other gets fixed

1929. the ability to use my other senses, sound, smell, taste, to feel and experience. i appreciate the others when one is weakened

1930. so thankful for the many gifts of food and help offered by friends from church, family close by, phone calls, texts, prayers, Facebook messages, all avenues lifting us up during this time. i am undeserving and humbled. who am i.

1931. a medium rare steak seasoned well in butter and herbs, served on a sizzling platter along with generous sides of loaded potatoes and grilled onions...totally hit the spot and totally worth coming out of hiding even if it was to a  greasy spoon. no one could care less about the blind girl in the corner and that's just how i liked it.

1932. the opportunity for my husband to show me he chooses me over work. i didn't have to have that proven to me, but my quiet insecure flesh is glad it was. his service to me is countless and immeasurable. all i know it is in abundance and i am incredibly thankful for this gift. because that's what it is-a present i do not deserve yet given freely. 

1933. another chance to be broken. to be made small. to let go of things i might have clung too tightly too. to fix my eyes on Jesus, and pursue Him in the dark place. another chance for Him to shine His glory and to make me more holy as He sanctifies me and cleans me out. 

1934. my children. so thankful for them, my heart aches that i can't mother them like normal or hold them and look them in the eye..yet they are resilient and helpful, they are gentle and caring towards me. i am so proud of their little tiny developing characters. 

1935. tangibles. like this chair i am sitting in that allows my head to rest in a little hole and give relief to my neck so i can still type and read..or my massage table that i spend hours flat on my face on, another hole to stick my head in. it's all so boring and mundane, but it would be 324546x less comfortable without these things. 

1936. a visit willingly and eagerly given by one of my favorites, the little great shepherd. his gentle voice full of tenderness for me, his sitting near me, stroking my hands and my arms in gentle affection, encouraging me and my husband in this desert, taking the time to drive all the way to our house and sit on our couch. to pray with us. to be unrushed and in no particular hurry. what a precious precious gift. 

1937. and others. so many people that i love are pouring love onto me by coming and sitting with me. i feel so unworthy of their time and attention, yet they are here, representing Christ and His affection for me, his baby servant. i am so so thankful.

1938. an amazing competent high ranking doctor and surgeon. who actually cares about me and the outcome of my eye. love his jewish fieriness and yet compassionate generous heart. 

1921-1927

1921. a successful flight, on my own, traveling from grand rapids to California, arriving safely and stretching a little bit in the independent department 

1922. a gorgeous drive up to Lake Tahoe, special time with mom and dad english, getting them all to myself

1923. attending a surprisingly fun and enjoyable wedding- not because i don't like weddings, but because i was unsure of who i would know or worried if i was out of place or it would be awkward. it was none of those things! so fun hanging out with my cousins and aunt and uncle, even making new friends with people i used to know a long time ago. 

1923. an open bar which again, challenged me to be an adult and confidently walk up to the counter asking for "a gin and tonic please."

1924. deliriously sunny weather every day, and a perfect sunday to sleep in, wine taste and two if my favorite vineyards with mom and dad, picnic, learn about wine, and just a abundance of love and contentment. 

1925. knowing my kids are safe and loved back at home wth my own folks and even nathan watching them a little too..

1926. finding peace in placing ben in a school we feel good about. 

1927. olive's skin! it's actually soft and clear once in a rarity!! 

1908-1920.

1908. summer mornings where I can stay in bed a little longer than usual.

1909. Michigan lakes. so refreshing w all these hot summer days.

1910. God keeps His promises.

1911. being reunited with jana and jeanne and chels. a retreat and time to rest, laugh, and just be together.

1912. friends who encourage me and call out my fears and give me truth to fight them.

1913. camping. lots of camping this summer. time to simplify and just be Wh friends. to ride bikes. to hike. to eat smores. to hammock. to swim.

1914. pedicures.

1915. summer thunderstorms. loud thunder. downpours.

1916. introverted bike rides.

1917. a season w emily in house. she is more of a blessing than she knows.

1918. pike place coffee and white mocha creamer. everyday.

1919. Leena lost her first tooth. bittersweet.

1920. being provided for. thank you God.

1902.-1907

1902. two plush green majestic palms, gifted by my husband upon returning home, knowing i have been researching and pining away for the perfect plants in my house. i love them. they are tropical and sturdy and their fingers dangle in relaxation. i pray i can keep them alive.

1903. gray gray gray, how is just now that i am completely falling in love with that color? lindsey..i see what you see:)

1904. little vases filled with fresh flowers, all gifted by different friends. they are such a sweet reminder that i am loved and cared for-known by ones close to me. i do not need to choose isolation..

1905. a soft contentedness that is just now arriving in my spirit, a peace that i am now here, i can gently move past the mourning-but not dismissing the forgetting, but welcome joy and dust off the red dirt on my shoes, and allow them to dirty with this new journey ahead. praise You God. You always walk with me. 

1906. summer has been so hot and that has been such a gift to my little brown body. 


1907. even more sun and heat and no agenda coming up in august..

1895-1901

1895. soft pencil gray paint carefully stretched across our living room walls. the room has bloomed open and it is ripe for creativity in crafting a cozy sitting area. 

1896. safe and smooth flight from Oxford to Chicago. 

1897. the sun has greeted us in welcome home cheers every single day since we've arrived back to the US. the air is warm and the sky is soft pink and tired blue when dusk comes. Michigan is so beautiful. 

1898. a slow but steady process of re entry. reading, writing, learning, sharing, all little tiny steps to a healthy transition. i sit with goodbyes and hellos in both hands. 

1899. the freshest salsa and hot chips from On the Border. nothing beats it. 

1900. baby Liv, snuggled beneath the quilt next to me..ben, koko, along with their grandpa and dad late summer night fishing at the pond. a bit of peace. 

1901. i am not afraid of this desert i have walked into. i welcome it and place my trust in Him. Speak Lord, for your servant is listening with a soft and broken heart. 

1892.-1894

1892. Ken and Mary Giles, a beautiful radiant couple, a literal picture of Christ and His bride, married just shy of 30 years, he still calls her my love and looks at her in a singular way reserved for no one else. and mary, sweet, gentle and compassionate mary, her fingers and eyes drip with grace and beauty, kindness and gentleness, a quiet humility. they opened their home to us, a home with parts built with their own hands. they poured wine and pulled potatoes and courgettes out of their flourishing garden, ken picked up some fresh beef at the market and busied themselves with serving us and grafting us into their home. i was so thankful to have witnessed/experience hospitality in this way,  as well as a solid picture of a harvested marriage. 

1893.  wonderful double date with mom and dad english, attended a posh concert at the Sheldonian Theatre where we listened to the dramatic moving overtures of Hayden, who had himself once stood there where the musicians stood. the music was glorious and epic, i enjoyed it very much. we also took mom and dad to our favorite pub, turf tavern and i knew it would be the last time we got to eat there so that was also a gift.


1894. getting rid of most of our furniture and beds feels so good to have part of that moving done with. only 5 days left.

1886-1891

1886. the faint fragrance of dad's pipe wafting beneath my nose as we explore the wild highlands of scotland and ancient castles with their missing pieces, yet large chunks of stone remain

1887. the clouds that parted, pregnant with rain, ceasing their labor to give way to the sun, so that i might picnic below,  savoring my parisian finds as the eiffel tower stood magestic before me, allowing me to sit at her feet and enjoy her shade

1888. two wonderfully impactful books in 2 weeks. Re-Entry and 7.  Both speaking to me loudly and so time appropriately, perfect gifts from thoughtful ones not even knowing how much i would devour both and learn so. much.

1889. a tiny shepherd's cottage, tucked far back behind usual scottish civilization, green sticking to everything, the piles of moving wool and black eyes, 2 horses grazing near by-one white, one brown, all inviting to explore, smell, touch, and see. my favorites of all our air b n' b's. the shepherdess greeted us, tiny black bugs clinging to her shoulders, her hands strong and weathered from hard work on a farm, her face like softened leather, eyes wise and aged. she was kind and shared of the history and real pictures of shepherd and farming life. "it's a tooth and claw animal kingdom" she said solemnly.

1890. peace and laughter for the large percentage of our road trip. we all put forth effort to communicate and adapt to one another, flex in the opposite direction of our own wants. i am thankful and proud of all 7 of us. 

1891. after hours and hours of driving in the 9 passengar vehicle, the walls still seem to close in, and darkness falls, a hearty comadarie falls on us and slap happy humor comes out to play, and tongues start loosening, and you really get to know a person amidst smelly shoes, stale air, and siri's misread directions.

1879-1885

1879. off the shoulder t shirts for quiet cozy days in

1880. home made iced coffee using husband's expertly made left over brew.

1881. any kind of food served to me in bed

1882. when anyone expresses love and satisfaction after eating/trying my home made food

1883. good, honest goodbyes that give me peace that we did the right thing in staying till our term was over. i don't know where these relationships would have left if we would have left prematurely with no warning

1884. nathan is finished with many commitments and can now be freed up a few ways! any extra time with him is a gift!

1885. His provision, His purpose, His guidance, His calling. that becomes clearer and clearer.

1871-1878

1871. here i sit, with candles lit, glass of ice water with mint, babes tucked away [not entirely asleep yet] and typing on my brand new baby mac book air! i have never owned my own computer before! Nathan surprised me with an early anniversary gift and i could not be more humbled and thankful for this personal generous gift! it is tiny and small, light weight, and it makes me feel like a real writer even though i know i already was one, but this makes me feel legit. :) 

1872. candles. 

1873. my husband is home after a hard 6 days without him. 

1874. continued solid friendships that flourish in this season. 

1875. uplifting words given by a brother. unexpected yet welcomed anytime:)


1876. ever learning, always growing, continued stretching and refining. thankful. 

1877. thankful for something small and trivial as makeup which lends itself as an outlet for me to dabble and create and give bits and pieces of confidence. 

1878. long time coming face time call with chelsea chess piece. 

1854 - 1870

1854. the way that baby wil smiles all the way from his eyes every time he wakes up, and finding him perched on his little elbows searching the room eyes to capture 1855. reading out loud and doing puzzles and cooking and laughing 1856. a few nights away at the farm with mom and dad 1857. a new friend at my doctor's office. she's joy and grace and gratitude. and so much beauty. 1858. thai coconut soup, infused with lemongrass and ginger, loaded with superfood sweet potatoes, bamboo shoots, broccoli 1859. growing friendship with chongo and the sweet gift of her babies shared with me 2 days each week 1860. this gentle man in my life who came out of nowhere. i'm still shocked and thankful for him and his patience with me, the way he serves me, and the way he naturally carries himself with calmness that i need to learn so often. 1861. grapefruit in the morning while the sun pours through the small window 1862. a successful 5k with our small group. sweet memories, and sandy's donuts 1863. luke joshua. sweetest boy, baby #3 for ross and kristi. baby #8 for our family 1864. upcoming trip full of camping and hiking and mountains and stars, a ten-hour drive, and a state i have never been to 1865. stairs with chels ( and still-sore muscles), mitten bbq pizza, and the gift of a few hours with a friend who has known me for 13 years 1866. that molly actually calls for me now, from her crib, when she need something or is ready to get up 1867. probiotics 1868. gf chocolate chip banana bread 1869. tt's church, a wise+kind shepherd who teaches and listens and loves the gospel 1870. food experiments with linds and an excuse to spend time together

1848-1853

1848. australian, south african, english, cuban, spanish accents. 

1849. a sense of care and security and belonging i feel from our church leadership back home. what a 
          gift.

1850. when olives makes it to the bathroom in time to poop and pee on a toilet. she is quickly getting     
          the hang of it!

1851. home group. community. fellowship. camaraderie. laughter. encouragement. wrestling.  
          an  honest pursual of scripture and God's truth.

1852. so much family time. more than we've ever been able to have in the past, and probably will   
          ever have.

1853. naturally long lashes that i've been trying to grow back with coconut oil.

1841-1847

1841. spring brining more sunshine, more blooms, color, and awakenings. 

1842. little colorful chevron slip ons fitting perfectly on little Liv's feetsies. 

1843. vanilla cheesecake drizzled with chocolate, raspberries, and blackberries. 

1844. no more meetings, drawn out conversations for a while. 

1845. good, good friends to fellowship with, to grow with, to share Christ and life with.

1846. car seats arriving just in time for us to go on a family adventure to the coast this weekend!!

1847.  chicken rezzealla 

1834. -1840

1834. an end in sight as far as war goes.  
1835. as much as we have been brought low and spent in every way, we also have been more built, uplifted, held in honored regard which is the Hand of the Lord only and I praise Him for the humbling that came before honor.  
1836.  coffee with rich cream 
1837. popovers 
1838. unexpected text messages reaffirming love where i thought there was none. 
1839. opportunities to choose God above man, to die to fear of man, what he thinks, and walk in obedience to God and with that comes undeniable peace. 
1840. three different glasses filled with fresh flowers blooming in my house. 

1829-1833

1829. A pocket of time during the day where only one babe is left and the two olders are out adventuring with grandparents. just enough time to get some quality soup* with my husband. MUCH NEEDED.  1830. Resting in my identity that is hidden in Christ. less anxiety and fear then before. I am HIS. and He is mine. Thanks be to God!! 1831. A wonderful evening out with couples just being adults;) 1832. Almost to a small season to just be a family again 1833. Figs. Dried cranberries. boiled eggs. crisp bacon. bleu cheese. toasted almonds and sesame seeds. dynamite salad.

1817-1827

1817. weeding out, flushing out, detoxing my spirit with unneeded anxieties, troubles, and just plain gunk that built up in my heart. God be praised for walking with me, reviving me, and redirecting me to Himself. 

1818. up to 2 liters of water every two days. i know i can do better, but i rejoice that i am drinking more water than i have and it has improved me in a lot of areas.

1819. one small week, yet cherished, to decompress in between visitors. 

1820. talk with Casey that was a blessing to share and listen, and God preparing both our hearts to allow us to be on the same page when stuff comes up. 

1821. a renewed walk and passion for the Lord and His Word. the joy of learning about Christ and His character. thankful for the ability to learn and grow.

1822. face times with goodies back home. friendships remain strong and immovable. if anything, growing by the minute. praise God for these gifts. 

1823. watching as my husband seeks God, reads his Bible, journals, enters into chaos and is wiling to share truth and wisdom. i am proud of him and he is the man i always dreamed of. [believe me, i know it sounds cheesy as f, but let me just have a squishy moment]

1824. long dusky evenings in Oxford. the sky still stays lit as the sun casts shadows on buildings and streets, people still out and about, there is a calm, relaxing atmosphere and i have really enjoyed it. 

1825. exploring little house projects that give me a small incentive to looking forward to going back to my home.

1826. just found out some unexpected visitors are coming and they want to see us! thankful that they would give us time..

1827. a new ginger beer infused with pear that i discovered at gourmet burger kitchen. perfect amount of spicy, sweet, and deep lush hints of pear. delicious. 

1802-1816.

1802. thunderstorm. strong winds. down pouring rain. puddles. gray skies.

1803. detox.

1804. learning to make healthier choices.

1805. first bike ride of the season w my sister.

1806. stairs stairs and more stairs. w Chelsea.

1807. friends who will cry in front of me and share their hurt and pain. it is a gift to know people deeply. and to be able to listen. 

1808. friends who listen to me vent and external process about lots of things. good and bad. and give me wise and life giving advice and encourage my heart.

1809. Sunday nights and all those who gather.

1810. FaceTime. to keep up with people far away.

1811. Elisabeth Elliot. can't get enough of her.

1812. a fire in the fireplace.

1813. learning how to forgive and the freedom that comes with it.

1814. a flourishing ministry to partner in under a humble, hardworking, genuine, and servant hearted leader, friend, and brother.

1815. health. no sickness or disease effecting my family this season. 

1816. hope for the future. things to look forward to. peace and joy.

1797-1801

1797. sunlight streaming through my window more often than not! what a glorious wake up call! 
1798. Tammy is coming in 3 days!! 
1799. time on my own to explore, relax, walk, and think 
1800. purposeful encouraging words. tyler told us as he was leaving, "i grew up with these christians in high school and i thought they were solid. and as we grew up, they got married in haste and ended up in divorce. my other two close friends ran off and entered into a homosexual lifestyle..it really gave me a black, darkened view of christianity and what i thought i was surrounding myself with, was lies. you and nathan have been such an encouragement to me. you are the first marriage i can look at and see Christ shining and is built on a solid foundation. you are an example to me of it working!" we were humbled and thankful by his gift of words. 
1801. a whole afternoon with just my husband, all the things i love to do with him-walk holding hands, sitting in coffee shops with wonderful conversation, shopping, sharing a delicious meal together, it was an amazing gift 

1791-1796

1791. a final talk with jeannie baby! how i missed her and longed to hear her voice 1792. opportunities to grow in humility where i might have thought i would already apply. turns out i had cobwebs of pride in those places, so praise Jesus he gives me many chances to remove the webs and clean them out with humility cleaner:) 1793. after loud mouth fights with my husband, a season to be soft with forgiveness and i'm sorry's 1794.  a quick chance to talk with the wise one, even if we missed our appointed time with him, he still gave some extra 1795. soft emerald drop earrings 1796. when i eat healthier and walk more, the structure of my face begins to tell me if there is progress 

1785.-1790

1785. purple smoothies laced with kale and blueberries 1786. finishing another book. i am wiser because of it.  1787. Worship Initiative by Shane and Shane playing over the Bose speaker. fills my walls with worship and spontaneous joy 1788. another visitor, pure hearts all around, another opportunity to serve, to love, to share a piece of home away from home 1789. forgiveness offered freely and quickly 1790. a healthy and strong marriage by His grace and strength alone, thanks be to God our Father, our Lord Jesus Christ

1775-1784

1775. 2 mile walks the last few days with the kids 1776. sun showing up more than he has in a bit. 1777. enjoying quality time with my children 1778. A week filled with grace and peace while nathan is away. 1779. Norah helping me with the dishes while I work on supper 1780. Writing more 1781. Reading more. inspired again 1782. Water with orange and mint 1783. good solid uplifting conversations with Hannah. learning and growing together 1784. Forgiveness brings lightness

1759-1774.

1759. 2am. the rain pattering on the roof. thunder rolling. wind blowing. lightning glowing. the best for falling asleep.

1760. introvert time for the last 5 hours.

1761. quality long term friends.

1762. Impact. 

1763. working for two amazing people. such a gift.

1764. a week in sunny Florida.

1765. hope for the future.

1766. Elisabeth Elliot and her book called Discipline.

1767. play date a Fredrick Meijer gardens w baby tammy.

1768. friends that feel safe enough to come over cry and hurt and sob and just be.

1769. day 1 and 2 of exercise and healthy eating.

1770. offically signed up for the riverbank run. goals to meet.

1771. people who hear and act.

1772. sore muscles.

1773. provision.

1774. sweet time w Jesus.

1756-1758

1756. Shane and Shane Pandora station 1757. That I've been randomly waking up at 530 for the last 2 weeks and now I wake up right at 630 d/t daylight savings time 1758. Riverside park and Briggs park so close to home

1749 - 1755

1749. its just a couple minutes but it is a couple minutes to realize my breath has not been deep enough, that things are well, that God is enough
1750. the way piano calms a soul
1751. the friends that surround max and I, last night all in a row we proclaim what was happy and crappy about this week - people actually listen and care and i appreciate them and i couldnt do it without the people in my life
1752. i rejoice in this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, because I know that from this my faith is being testing, that it is being made stronger, that I will learn to tame jsut another section of anxiety and lay it all on the cross... i can rejoice. God will help him I dont have to fix anything.
1753. ham and split pea soup right there warm in the gut
1754. health of the mind body spirit
1755. painting.

1739 - 1748

1739 first health coaching clients scheduled for this week 1740 the first open air day in house at ferris + sunshine 1741 spicey punjab choley from trader joe's + brown rice (and molly likes it too) 1742 another 5k looming, but the motivation to get out and run, but in 60s and 70s its not too difficult <3 1743 larabars 1744 this man who pursues and who is patient with me 1745 fresh blue, green, and yellow flowers in the living room 1746 mapmyrun app 1747 new baby announcement for this fall 1748 clearer words and conversation on long walks, a new world through those bright little blue eyes

1732.-1738

1732. the beginning of true forgiveness. after months of wrestling and conviction, by His strength we have arrived at the precipice of change. thank you Father for your mercy and grace. 1733. a tiny custom made cake that nathan ordered on the way home for Olive's birthday. What a gift to have such a thoughtful man who already pursues his daughters so well at such a young age. 1734. A good FaceTime talk with tamm. She will always be real and honest with me. And that makes her trustworthy and safe. Thankful for her. 1735. Erin's out!! Wow! How incredible!! 1736. Hot cup of coffee brought up to me in bed 1737. peace that I haven't had in months. 1738. liv's voice and using of complete sentences

1727 - 1731

1727. orange juice and chardonnay
1728. peace despite...
1729. tiny warm dog on my lap
1730. fresh new days
1731. fresh snowfalls

1723-1726

1723. slow growth. it's slow inside my heart, but it's there. thank You Spirit of the Living God. 

1724. a girl date in while the brothers are gone. complete with candles and dipping oil for crusty bread.  anticipated gift. 

1725. a full 12 hours without dad [this isn't super uncommon, but it feels different when he's far away enough to not be easily on hand] and by His grace it was an enjoyable peaceful day with the kids. they encouraged me with their upbeat spirits, willingness to get along and try to keep good attitudes and very helpful. thank you Jesus.

1726. teeny pony tails.  

1720 - 1722

1720. tim's comment, half joking half serious. "you're making us better people little by little." he's referring to the way his 9-year-old has learned from me to make smoothies and to make healthy food choices, an most recently her debating with them to start recycling. kelly says "she's given me the landfill speech so many times now." this makes my heart happy. and i'm laughing and apologizing at the same time. 1721. the guy pouring the blue Powerade out his window, onto his windshield. 1722. Harry Potter book series + the way that literature brings people together.

1715-1719

1715. time alone. what a gift that i never in my past years thought i would welcome. i used to not be able to stand being alone. now, it is a space of quiet, rest, prayer, creativity, relaxation, recharging, learning, growth. thankful when ever my husband or children give me that gift.

1716. thankful for women both near and far who are good good teachers. the way they speak, they way they love, the way they pursue Christ and the Scriptures, the way they encourage, offer wisdom and truth. I am a rich woman indeed to be given the gift of women friendship. 

1717.  stringed lights taped to the wall to create a head board, now focal piece for my eyes. so simple, but it brings me joy to stare at it and have it add its bit of shine* to our room

1718.  new fun lashes came in the mail. can't wait to play with them and try them out. lashes are fun, they make me feel pretty, that's it. no extra worry or over analyzing welcomed in my little brain:)

1719.  baby Olive falling asleep snuggled in my arms. i love her so much. 

1705-1714

1705. warm knitted mitten gloves

1706. a walk to Hinskey park, sun shining for just a bit. 

1707. the screams and laughter of my children, as they run all over the playground

1708. my little one, holding so still as we rock back and forth in the large black tire swing

1709. the warmth and welcome of the bus, as the wind whips our faces. we leave it behind for a few moments. 

1710. a wonderful portuguese fusion find. the enchiladas were wonderful. 

1711. the sound of my son vacuuming his room without anyone asking him too. the desire he has for order is a good example to me. i am inspired by him.

1712. the delight and surprise my husband  found in my little valentines gifts. 

1713. somehow finding a meal to put on the table with little amount of groceries.  the last of it still finds a way to be used up. 

1714. i was able to put in my contact lenses today and it was such a gift to me to be able to see clearly, without scratchiness or difficulty, even my eyes didn't cross as much as they normally do. i was SO thankful. it encouraged me to try again since i haven't worn them in a very long time and they usually give me aches and complications instead of just doing their job. thank you Jesus for the gift of sight today. 

1695-1704.

1695. a small space in front of the window in our living room, natural light pouring in, the wooden desk inviting me. a little space and time to write, to pray, to reflect. i felt like i was in a little coffee shop, and i always am charged and relaxed after being in one. fun to have it here at home. 

1696. small peace between friends. you could not convince me of less, that peace amongst those you care about is one if God's greatest gifts to us. peace that passes all understanding. 

1697. homemade latte of sorts, complete with frothy milk on top.

1698. a thriving sex life. i say this not with a heart of pride or bragging, but with a grateful heart. i  know it could be so much less. i know it could be filled with miscommunication, insecurity, and restriction and fear. I know that it could be lack of unity, freedom to be transparent and express what one or the other is thinking.  i think of all these things with no light thought, so i offer my humble praise and thanks to the Father for these undeserved gifts. it is not me, or my husband who can take any credit for this gift. it is Him. and i know it isn't always like this, it wasn't, so i am stopping to appreciate and recognize this gift that He gives in delight and joy. I praise YOU, Father.  thank you. 

1699.  Irish kerrygold butter. cold and plopped on hot bread out of the oven.

1700. a fun girls night out with joyful, friendly women, that i probably would never have met or interacted with [because they are so smart and powerhouse women] but at the end of the day, we are all just little girls, ready to laugh and joke, and be real.

1701. real, raw, honest conversations with my tender one. with my kindred. i am thankful that she understands me, and i her, and its like our hearts could be switched at any time and we would still feel like ourselves. i am honored any time she shares, and it is gift any time she listens in return, offering wisdom and an empathetic ear. love you cheecha.

1702. the most beautiful post card sent from the US from steadfast, loyal Linda Lindsey. [linda means beautiful in Portuguese] a lovely surprise that made me feel so loved by her. 

1703. and let me not forget tammmmmytinytummy. our tickets for Ireland are booked. Dublin, here we come. cannot wait to get that time with tamm in such an incredible magical place. april cannot come fast enough. FACETIME in real life.

1704. i am thankful for my Jeannie too. She is such a woman of dignity and works well with her hands. her voice is always so soft and gentle, she is eager to learn, to listen, to ask questions, and i want to learn to be like that more. she is an excellent mom and again, i desire to learn from her. 

1689-1694

1689. Sunlight bursting through my window. I know it's still cold, but the sun still makes it feel warmer and brighter and much more doable. 1690. A long walk with my kids yesterday, because the sun was out yesterday too. We made it all the way to the park, played on the play ground, and ran all over the soccer field. It was good and gift giving for all of us. 1691. The quiet small voice of God, beckoning me, pulling me towards Himself, forgive me of my rotty sin, and pouring His grace on me. He continues to reawaken me and give me a heart to pursue after him, even when I don't feel like I deserve to, or can even stand before Him. But His love is great. His mercy is great.  1692. Elisabeth Elliott is teaching me how to have a quiet heart. I choose her wisdom and insight over time on my phone and that has improved my life greatly.  1693. Hannah. how humbled I am to have met her and been given her precious friendship. She is full of depth and wisdom that I am in awe of, all I want to do is sit at her feet and learn from her. She is well spoken, she is full of dignity and honor. She recognizees so much of the unseen, the corners uncovered. I am incredibly grateful for her time and love. 1694. just thankful for the gift of being here. I really have never loved a place or season in my life as I do now and here. This is a rich season, full of God's presence, His gentle teaching and refining of our hearts and lives, and I am full of joy and peace. Thanks be to God.

1684 -1688

1684 a sunny 18 degree hike with molly in the pack, behind belita's house, and along the railroad tracks 1685 an afternoon cross-country skiing with a very patient friend 1686 leftover thai food with broccoli and big rice noodles 1687 blush bridesmaid dresses for june 24 1688 grand rapids green (that's really the name of the color) yarn for a chunky cowl neck scarf

1676-1683

1676. my curling iron blew its fuse which was frustrating and disappointing, so i decided to try a "no heat" curling method last night skeptically. I woke up, preparing for church this morning, and to my surprise, the method worked! Not uniformed controlled curls, but fluffy, bohemian curls, which i don't mind every once in a while! I was gifted with lots of compliments at church today and that made me feel very special. so a few gifts traded all from a broken curling iron:)

1677. a new brother in Christ and friend, Zachary Jackman, a wonderful, joyful, upright man, we knew of him before meeting him in person, Nathan did some work producing a video for him, and we all belong to the Trinity church family. Met him at church this morning and it was as if we were friends forever! What a gift to share in his ministry in Iraq, to get some time with him, and share encouragement. Praying there is opportunity for Nathan to go minister with/to Zach in Iraq. 

1678.  2 new scarves, warm, cozy, huge, and totally me. gifted from two thoughtful sisters. 

1679. Ben playing with my hair while chatting how electricity works. 

1680. skyping with my mom and dad. they purchased their tickets! they are actually coming!! I feel incredible peace and joy about this. 

1681. that my husband would even consider how i feel and what i long for, and will bring it to the Lord in prayer, think about it, and see if it would work. this is a gift to me because i know he could easily blow it over and not really put any thought into it. 

1682.  the scent of a burning candle

1683. that i am bypassing the frigid cold this season. 

1673 - 1675

1673 i met a family at meijer gardens this morning when i was there with molly. after a few minutes of observing it became apparent to me that the mother and the father were struggling with their children, 2 boys - i'm guessing 12 months and 27 months. i followed molly closely to be sure that there wasn't a problem. i also noticed another woman there, clearly unrelated. the mother explained to me that they were having a problem with their children, the older one in particular, and that his teacher had taken her afternoon to work with them on skills for handling their son's tantrums and rough play. i was so impressed and so proud of those parents for loving their boy enough to learn and thankful to that teacher for loving her student enough to help. 1674 watching maddie so enjoying working on a loom hat, and even more excited to share the finished product with brand new baby across the street. 1675 baby wilhelm! healthy boy, surprising everyone by coming 2 days early

1667 - 1672

1667 tickets in the mail for the march 12 rend concert! 1668 bogs: tall, high quality winter boots. for the first time in my life 1669 the most perfect new scarf from kendra 1670 health coach certification in the mail 1671 ESL class starting this wednesday! 1672 feather pillow - the best for sleeping

1662.-1666

1662. Tiny baby coca colas. Haven't had them in a while, which is good I know, but I missed them. 1663. Fresh hot homemade chai. 1664. Real, raw, broken talks with our brother and guest. 1665. When my son says sincerely, "mom, I'm sorry for being disrespectful. I know I should be thankful for the gifts that I am given.  Will you forgive me?"  The penny is dropping!! 1666.  Straight hair with no straightener.  1667.  Warm fuzzy pink socks with grips

1658-1661

1658. a successful week managing without dad, of course not super easy, but thankful for the opportunities it gives me to stretch and learn about my capabilities. I always learn and grow, that's for sure..:)

1659. visits from new friend, Fiona. a kind and warm soul, very thoughtful and helpful. thankful she helped break up the week alone.  always so thankful for women friendships offered to me so freely and willingly. it is a MAJOR gift. 

1660.  our first visitor! always a little apprehensive and nervous concerning expectations and being good hosts, but so far it is going fine and I am praying it will go well the remainder of when our brother is here.

1661. my HUSBAND is HOME!!!!!